Extracurricular Coach Reveals Four Things Parents of Ivy League Admits Never Do

Parents of students who have gained acceptance to top-tier universities like Harvard, Stanford, and Princeton share a surprising commonality: what they intentionally choose not to do, according to extracurricular coach Theo Wolf.

Wolf, a founding member of Spike Lab, has spent the last decade coaching high school students who’ve gone on to attend elite institutions. In working closely with both students and families, he’s observed four behaviors successful parents avoid.

Assorted books on bookshelves | Source: Pexels

First, Wolf says these parents never treat admission to a specific college as the only pathway to success. Instead of fixating on one institution, they support the development of critical skills such as creativity, communication, and initiative, which are valuable regardless of where their child ultimately enrolls.

Second, they resist the pressure to follow trends. “I often see parents signing their kids up for an activity purely out of a competitive feeling of FOMO,” Wolf noted, adding that such decisions can hinder students from cultivating a unique identity.

Third, they avoid fighting their children’s battles. “Snowplow parenting,” or solving challenges for children, may prevent teens from developing personal agency. “If teenagers think someone else will do something for them, they won’t learn to do it for themselves,” Wolf said.

Teenager in the library | Source: Pexels

Finally, they do not shield children from failure. “Rejection gives students the confidence to come back stronger,” Wolf explained, recalling a student who cold-emailed 70 professors before securing a lab internship. The experience instilled resilience and humility.